I’ve Conquered The Genies
October 31, 2006You know how in Aladdin and all those other stories, genies only give you three wishes, but somehow it’s against the rules to wish for more wishes? Well, I’d like to get my hands on whoever made up that rule, because that has got to be the stupidest rule in the history of stupid rules.
Is this the genie’s doing, just making up extra rules knowing that any crack head stupid enough to rub a lamp would most certainly believe this crap? Or is there perhaps a Genie Union in which all professional genies take part, and they’ve decided to boycott this wish after experiencing too many nut jobs asking for unlimited wishes then accidentally killing themselves on the 4th wish?
Doesn’t matter though. Because you might not be able to wish for more wishes, but nobody ever said anything about more genies.
The Nature of Comedy
October 28, 2006With the recent outcry over South Park’s latest episode in which apparently (I haven’t actually watched it) Steve Irwin attends Satan’s Halloween dress up party with a stingray sticking through him, I’ve been thinking about the nature of comedy. What is comedy, what makes it up, are there places that comedy shouldn’t be taken, are there ways that comedy shouldn’t be tackled, and are there answers to any of these questions?
While comedy is normally funny, it oftentimes gives insights and shows the holes in our society. Comedians such as George Carlin often attack subjects with a certain anger, yet worded and timed so perfectly nobody can help but to laugh (”But [God] loves you. He loves you, and He NEEDS MONEY! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Ho-ly Shit!“). Meanwhile, Jerry Seinfeld attempts to show you the humor in everyday things (”Have you ever had milk the day after the date? Scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it? The spoon is trembling as it comes out of the bowl. ‘It’s after the day! I’m taking a big chance! I smelled it, you smelled it, what is it supposed to smell like?’”).
Are there places comedy shouldn’t go, and are there ways it shouldn’t be treated? While George Carlin is famous for his 7 Words routine and believes that comedy is about finding where the line is drawn then crossing it, Seinfeld says that while there are no subjects that he will not tackle, there are ways in which he will not tackle them. In Jerry Seinfeld On Comedy, he also calls heavy profanity the “great shortcut” of comedy and as such won’t use it. Are shortcuts be avoided, or should they be used when appropriate? Are they ever appropriate?
While I don’t mind a few choice words here and there to spice up the overall effect as someone like Demetri Martin will do, somebody like Dane Cook just gets annoying. After a few minutes you realize that he’s not actually saying anything funny, but it’s so laced with well-timed profanity that you’re tricked into believing that it actually is. You can only stand so much of that.
Is it the comedian’s job to filter out overly offensive material? Or should it just be saved for the right audience? Most comedy, on some level or another, is offensive to somebody. All comedy makes fun of something or somebody on some level, but are there levels that are too high?
And will I ever stop asking questions without providing answers?
To Dream of Never-Ending Things…
October 15, 2006What if we actually cared?
What if “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” was more than a catchphrase?
What if we really tried to love our neighbors as ourselves?
What if we learned to love ourselves?
What if we desired to change what isn’t right?
What if we took the unjust and fixed it?
What if passion became the norm?
What if hate didn’t exist?
What if everybody lived each day like their last?
What if everybody lived each moment as their last?
What if we believed in ourselves even when nobody else did?
What if failure wasn’t feared?
What if time wasn’t an issue?
What if we were willing to sacrifice?
What if we kept trying?
What if we followed what we believed?
What if we dreamed the impossible, but tried anyway?
The (un)Natural Dehydration Process of Brilliance
October 3, 2006A couple items that have really been catching my eye lately are hair products, mostly shampoos and hair dyes. In particular, these ones run at about 40 bucks a bottle and apparently will give you natural-looking hair.
This is great news for me, because lately I’ve been just washing my hair with soap and water and have been noticing my hair getting more and more unnatural. I also have a 73 year-old friend who’s hair has been getting a little gray, which has apparently been freaking some people out.
Though, sometimes it’s best not to have things the natural way. For example, I’d much rather eat many of my foods dehydrated–especially if it’s something disgusting. And the choices for dehydrated food are endless, you can get bananas, apples, vegetables…The list goes on, and they’re always working on new ones.
Though, the one I’m really looking forward to is dehydrated water.
I thought about trying to make some myself, but when I went through the whole mental process I realized that I might not have anything left over to consume and/or sell. I also realized that I’d have a bunch of useless H2O leftover from the process.
Then I was hit with another brilliant idea: The next best thing–water extract.