I was:

A New Kind of Justice

September 16, 2006

As I established in Justice, everybody cries for justice, but nobody seems to want real justice. We cheer when Saddam Hussein is captured then fight million dollar battles when the RIAA cracks down. We bitch and whine when things aren’t fair for us, and we at least pretend to want things fair for others. Or we pretend as long as we don’t have to do anything about them, anyway–at least until life is perfect for us.

That’s not justice. Yet, we still cry for it.

Around 2000 years ago, this carpenter showed up claiming to be sent by God. Nobody really knew what He was doing, but the general consensus seemed to be that He was the Messiah, here to kick Rome’s ass.

In short, this guy was finally bringing the justice that Israel had been crying for. Finally, He was bringing the justice they deserved. The dream, the prophecy, the fall of Rome that kept them living was finally coming true.

But it didn’t.

He didn’t save them from the Romans; He just said some bizarre things then got himself killed. What kind of Justice is that?

Or maybe, if anybody listened to what He actually said, somebody would’ve realized that this guy didn’t come to fulfill their sense of justice at all.

I mean, come on…”Turn the other cheek”? What’s up with that? That’s not just.

“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also.” That’s not just.

“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.” I say whoever compels you to go one mile, jump on his back and ride the rest of the way. THAT’S justice.

Matthew 5:43-44

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you…”

If that’s God’s sense of justice, He has to have the crappiest sense of justice I’ve ever heard.

Unless the same, and more, has already been done for us.

Because let’s face it, if true justice was given, we’d be damned in an instant. God, of course, knew this. Jesus knew that for true justice to happen (and it would happen), somebody had to pay. Somebody was going to pay. Jesus was willing to pay.

He was willing to sacrifice the fairness that was due to Him. He was willing to forfeit all of that, and He did.

I wonder, what would happen if we were willing to forget about the fairness due to us?

Justice.

September 11, 2006

The word on our tongues, the 9/11 cry, the curse others deserve.

Let them have it; just don’t touch me.
Free the oppressed; but find somebody else to do it.
Feed the poor; but somebody else pay for it. I can’t–I’m still paying for my HDTV.
Convict the criminals; just keep away from BitTorrent and my radar detector.
Let Bono fix the African kids; I don’t have the time.

I can’t afford to help out my neighbor; it wouldn’t be fair to me.
I don’t have time for your justice; I’m too busy with mine.

Lawyers, Judges, Senators.
Money, Political Agendas, Power.
Hell for you, fair for me.

May you be brought to justice. Perhaps then the damn thing will steer clear of me.

To the oppressed, the poor, the AIDS-inflicted, the bums of the street:
Don’t worry, I’ll help you out once it’s fair for me.

The Cost of Honesty (Or, “Why I Never Lie and Why the Truth is Overrated”)

September 3, 2006

Lately I’ve come to realize that in our society, the worst possible thing that I can do for myself is tell somebody what I really think. Most of us understand this. We’re masters of creative distortion, persuasive evasion, and selective truthfulness. But we never lie–no, we’d never steep as low as that–we’re just not honest.

See, lies are way too fragile. It takes a George Costanza to really pull those off. Hell, even Clinton had trouble eventually. However, with selective truthfulness, even amateurs can fool the polygraph. It’s simple: We tell the truth but leave out the parts we’d like to live without.

I’m sure you already know how to do it. Without this technique, most of us would be dead by now.

For example, say somebody shows you some of their artwork:

“So, what do you think?”

What is it? Looks like a train wreck. “Very interesting…Really makes the mind wonder.”

Told absolute truth. How they interpret this truth is completely up to them. As Costanza himself would say, “Jerry, just remember: It’s not a lie… if you believe it.” That’s why this works so well. You get out of trouble, don’t have to lie (guilt free!), and even better…it’s so easy.

Picture the scene. Somebody important invites you over for dinner; this is your big chance.

“So, did you like the dinner?”

Holy crap…I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep this down for the next hour. Or if I do, I’m definitely going to die.
“I’ve never had anything like it! That meat was really interesting.”
I didn’t even know there was such a thing as blue pork…

Tricks like these can save lives. Not just vague, other-side-of-the-world, somebody else “lives,” either…we’re talking yours and mine.

“Does this make me look fat?”

Hey, it’s not the clothes’ fault. “No, nothing makes you look fat.”

But in order to use this technique, there is a certain pride issue that one has to get over. Namely, one needs to convince him or herself that their personal thoughts and opinions 1) aren’t worth telling and 2) aren’t funny.

But this I just cannot do. They’re good, and I don’t aim to waste them. Which is also why I don’t have a girlfriend yet two moderately successful blogs.