The Truth About Sports

I used to do sports. When I was 7 I played baseball; did that for about 6 years. Did soccer a couple of times.

I remember those first few years, t-ball, hot dogs…confusion. I also remember quite clearly what the coaches would constantly tell us:

It’s just a game!

We didn’t believe them, of course. They won’t tell us the score? Then we’ll keep track ourselves.

But this is what they wanted.

Because the next season, everything is suddenly backwards. The coaches are yelling and swearing, meanwhile the players are telling the coaches, “It’s just a game!”

To many, this whole ordeal would probably be a confusing thing. However, I’ve been able to figure it all out. The first couple of years, you know, the ones where it’s “just a game”–those are there to get you hooked. If you continue playing for a couple of years, then they figure that you’re ready for the truth.

But they don’t really tell you the truth. Or the whole truth, anyway. You think it’s the truth, you believe it’s the truth. Most people, in fact, still do believe that this is the truth. The whole US Government still believes this, as does Japan’s. What they tell you is that it’s not really a game, it’s your life. You need this, your future depends upon it. That even you can be a winner.

This, of course, is bullshit. There are no real “winners” in sports. Actually, let me take that back. There are winners in sports, but most people would never guess them. But I’ll tell you who they are: Drug dealers, and the countries that don’t participate.

Those are your real winners.

Drug dealers, pretty self explanatory. I think that they are actually the ones that started this whole “sports” thing and came up with the confusing introduction to the game. I mean they are masters of addiction, are they not? So what would be better than to create an addiction that will start another addiction that they can sell products to feed? It’s complicated, it’s confusing, it’s genius. Who would’ve guessed?

The non-participants are also winners. Why? Because they’re several billion dollars richer and several times smarter. You see, while we’re plunking millions into training somebody to kick a plastic ball, they can use this money to do much more important things. Like say, build nukes.

5 thoughts on “The Truth About Sports”

  1. Of course, they are just games. Many sports are based on war, with “sides,” “winners” and “losers.” Other sports are just about being the best – again, essentially the stuff of war. Fencing and airsoft 2 notable examples. Chess is also a war/power game, as are most card games. It’s okay, it’s just the way we are. (However, I don’t get your reference to the US and Japan…)

    I think you are partially correct: It’s all good fun, until someone loses an eye…. or until someone finds out how to make money from it (or gains 80 lbs from sitting on the couch eating chips while watching it). However, apart from pro sports (which I think was your focus), I think that there are winners: those who actually have fun, release stress, gain strength & helath benefits, and gain new friends.

    Now, Paul did a reverse take on sports, using the marathon as an example for real life (1 Cor. 9:24-27); while only some are involved in organized sports, we all play games. Winning “the game” doesn’t matter most of the time, you can still “win” by playing. But, as Paul points out, sometimes winning is the only thing that matters.

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