Kim Jong Il sucks at poker.

Regarding the whole North Korea thing, I think Kim Jong Il could have something going for him, but he really needs to work on this a little bit more. When you’re playing with the pros, you’d better know what you’re doing. Otherwise, you’ll get wasted. Literally. And lets face it, Kim Jong Il obviously sucks at this.

When you’re at the table, image is everything. As such, the guy’s going to need a name change. I mean c’mon… Kim? Isn’t that a girl’s name?

If you want to be a pro, you gotta look like one. This means that you can’t have a poker face like Kermit the Frog with a name already taken by a piece-of-crap Disney show. I hear name changes aren’t too expensive here in the US, so I’m sure that when you’re god of North Korea you can get them for practically nothing.

That is, of course, unless he (or is it a “she”?) is going for the Miss Piggy look, which I can definitely see on him…But lets face it, if you’re going to do the look, you need to do the moves. Nukes just won’t cut it.

Now second of all, what are you going to do when even China hates you? Kim seems to think that bluffing is a good tactic here. In order to prove he’s no sissy, he launches 7 nukes against stern warnings from the US and Japan. Now, this would’ve been a spectacular bluff, except for one little problem: The freakin’ thing broke 45 seconds into flight.

Talk about embarrassing.

17 thoughts on “Kim Jong Il sucks at poker.”

  1. Almost makes you feel sorry for the guy. I wonder what kind of childhood he had to make him turn out this way…

  2. Haha!! I see a dark future for one of my brothers then…he likes the muppets CD we get from the library. Poor guy…

  3. Now that’s a Surprise! Kim Jong Il actually apologized for North Korea for conducting nuclear testing?!! He said he didn’t have plans to test anymore. Something just doesn’t sound right about that one.

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