Happy 11th of October!

Everybody’s talking about Independence Day (no, not that Independence Day). It is, after all, the Fourth of July. Today is the day that Americans everywhere are eating charcoal hamburgers, blowing up Chinese bombs, and making worthless political statements.

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Those guys sure knew what they were doing when they picked the 4th of July to sign that thing. Can you imagine what it would be like if they had picked, say, the 11th of October?

“Happy 11th of October, everybody!”

It just doesn’t flow. Not to mention, who has barbeques in October? Or shoots fireworks? Nobody, and that’s why the 11th of October would suck as a national independence day.

July’s the perfect month. Right in the middle of the summer, clear skies for fireworks, perfect temperature for barbeques. I’m sure the signers thought through all of this before sending that letter off to England, because I mean, that’s pretty important. Creating a national holiday is a big deal.

5 thoughts on “Happy 11th of October!”

  1. “Those guys sure knew what they were doing when they picked the 4th of July to sign that thing.”

    Common misconception. They finished it completely on July 4th. Many of the signers didn’t actually sign it until much later. I forget exactly when, but it was at least August.

  2. Part of the problem here is its so dry the fireworks start fires all over. Last night we had 11 fires arround town. On the 3rd, there was a fire only a couple miles away from our house. Same day, my brothers went out back to take a movie, lit a fire cracker (to make the sound of a gun), and it started a fire. Needless to say, they stomped it out.

    Elliot, send us some rain! We need it, and you get too much, I know! I use to live in Keizer. You probably don’t have problems with fires, eh?

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