Note to self: Apparently emangelists (email + evangelists = a term I just made up) are just as crappy as televangelists.

Everybody hates chain mail. You know, “Forward this to at least 10 people in the next 48 hours or you’ll get hit by a flying piano and die.” But that’s not all that bad (though still annoying). I mean they’re easy to spot–if I see five “Fwd:” things in the subject line then I know that it’s probably safe to delete.

But that’s old-school. There’s a new type of chain mail on the block, and this elite string of forwards does not try to manipulate the general public through cute fake images or promises of grandeur superstition, rather, the fashionable religious guilt trip. Here is an excerpt from an actual email I once received:

This is an easy test, you score 100 or zero. It’s your choice If you aren’t ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. Jesus said, “If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.”

Not ashamed pass this on . . . only if you mean it. Yes, I do Love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

This is the simplest test. If you Love God, and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you. Send this to ten people you love and the person who sent it to you!

Damn, I’d better hurry up and forward this thing before God takes out the lightning…

4 thoughts on “Note to self: Apparently emangelists (email + evangelists = a term I just made up) are just as crappy as televangelists.”

  1. Ah, yes. Those emails. When I first began getting them five or six years ago, when I started on computers, I didn’t want to forward them (even then I knew they were dumb), but I felt guilty deleting them, so I kept them in my inbox for a long time. Then I finally decided…why should an EMAIL, especially a stupid one, decide whether or not I love God? Don’tcha think God knows better than an email if I love Him?

    I have since then deleted every one that has come my way.

  2. @Anne: I never feel guilty, just sick that somebody would write that and call it the gospel.

    I’m not ashamed of Christ, just people who write crappy emails.

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