Too bad the Constitution wasn’t written using a thesaurus…

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Boring. By using a simple thesaurus, this writing quality can easily be improved ten-fold.

We the partakers of the Joint Confusion, in order to form a more perfect society, establish reasonableness, insure household harmony, provide for the everyday argument, spam the general welfare, and lock up the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Disposition for the Joint Confusion of America.

I’d love to see Harry Blackmun even try to touch that one.

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